Cloud 19

And it’s again coming back to me
Can’t I ever get out of this?
Will I ever stop myself from doing this thing?
Can I?

Hatred has consumed me
It has engulfed me into its vastness
It’s on my mind now
Nothing good now can come out of it
I’m sure of it

And will it ever stop itself from
Measuring the miles of my patience?
Will it stop drowning me
Into its bitter cold empty self?

Hatred has made me
Who I am today
The howls of beasts have taken
The human form that I used to live on
I’m sure of it

And will it ever stop
destroying my precious mind?
The hidden source of my inspiration
My workbench, for shining my words, sharper than swords?

I’m sure of it
My ears and eyes witness it
The vast extent of hatred in me
It’s now only a few hours left

For it to touch my most precious part
Of my mind
And my life
Where I keep all my secrets, my thoughts & my poems

And will I ever stop begging
At its feet?
Just to stop bothering me?
Only for sometime that I can at least prepare?

Will I ever trust that my ghost
Will come to fight my battles
That costed my life?

That costed every blood in my body
And the enormous number of cells shed
Defending them?

Oh yes I stink!
“For I don’t bath”
Yes I don’t hear much!
“For always my ear is plugged”

“Yes you are right
I’m good for nothing
Crazy, stupid, Invisible

That preys on good people to
Live on them
To breed on them

Yes I am depressed!
I’m full of negativity!
“I seek nothing but pleasure
But nothing is beyond my personal greed”

“I am the hate seeking parasite”
I hope one day I’m crushed
Before I destroy the world

Before my name is echoed
To to hollowed halls of
People’s mind, their thoughts and belief

Before My hatred consumes
Them into submission
Before me
Before my hateful will

I am nothing
I was nothing
I will be nothing

For I have hatred in me

The hatred, that
Was put on my shoulder
When I was a child

When I was a fairy
A little angel without wings
Not by anyone but my worst experiences

Now, I’m the evil,
One of the devil,
One to be afraid off

Now I’m nothing
But a Hate filled
Blood thirsty Beast
Who is Drowning, in the river of life
Life a dried leaf


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