Oh my

Cloud 65

It is not sadness that bothers me anymore
 But it is a memory
 The person I can still feel
 In my mind's naïvety
It's not the panic attacks that I fear
 But the trails, it leaves
 For I can feel them
 Long after they cease to exist
Oh my mind
 What more she can take
 It has been three years
 Since my first attack
It's not the life that I'm afraid of
 For I've lost my feelings
 Even sadness was a part of me
 Until it got relived
It's not death that knocks at my doorstep
 For I'm dead inside
 I've become a rock
 Without love, without emotions
Oh my body
 How many times more
 Do I have to tell you
 Not to cut yourself?
It's not heaven that I seek
 When I'm dead you know
 For I was not much of help, here in my youth
 In Heaven, I'll be old
I think its to hard to describe
 What I'm feeling right now
 It's not pain or the strain
 But I'm defeated somehow
Oh my soul
 How much time
 More
 Can you hold?
If this was a war
 Against time and tide
 I've lost it
 My friend, my dear Life
I do not have any ambition anymore
 For I know now, they are nightmares
 I've spilled my blood, than I can stand
 Again to fight on
Oh my pains
 You have lost your power to make me cry
 For I've lost the meaning
 And the purpose Of this very life
There are enemies marching
 From North and from South
 Frontiers of East and West
 Have made me death bound
Now only a miracle can save me
 A miracle, in my life
 A touch of emotions
 That can paint my sky
Oh my imaginations
 Where are you
 Those who used to soar
 Above the cloud?
I've lost my colours
 I've lost my life
 Yet I'm breathing
 Trying to stay alive
Oh my memories
 My Sweet many of them
 For you have faded
 My very existence
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